I think this is one of the most misunderstood passages in the Bible.
The passage talks about wives first, but I think for
teaching purposes in our time it is better to begin with the husband.
Four times in this passage Paul tells the husbands to love
their wives. I don’t think that’s
because it’s so hard for them to do that, but it can be hard to convince the
wives of that.
Gary Chapman did an invaluable service to Christians,
everyone actually, with his teaching about love languages. We all have our own love language, how we
would like or need love to be expressed to us, but then we tend to show love in
that same way, and that may not be how the other person wants or needs love to
be expressed.
I suspect this has more to do with men’s tendency to get
involved in things, in projects, in work, in causes, and they don’t “nourish and
cherish” their partner enough. (Ephesians
5:29)
Paul’s instructions to wives are a mess in most English
Bibles. I didn’t try to see how many different
Bibles do that, but it’s a lot and it’s shameful.
Paul’s instruction to wives comes right out of his teaching
about being filled in spirit. And that
section is poorly done as well.
In Ephesians 5:18, Paul tells believers to be filled in spirit. That’s the literal expression, no
interpreting involved. The word ‘in’ can
be translated as ‘in, with, or by. The word
‘spirit’ can be understood as the Holy Spirit or the human spirit. The expression in the original Greek is very
different from any other time when the Bible speaks of a person being filled
with the Holy Spirit, though Luke 4:1 is close when it says that Jesus was full
of (the) Holy Spirit.
That command is followed by 5 participles. Those are verb forms that modify the main
verb. The important or real question is
whether these participles describe or define the action of the main verb or are
the results of it.
Most Bible teachers, and no, I didn’t check them all, say
that these participles tell us the results of being filled with spirit, i.e.
the Holy Spirit. So when a person is
filled with the Holy Spirit, they then will speak to one another in psalms, hymns,
and spiritual songs, sing and make melody in their heart to the Lord, give thanks
to God always, and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
The first question then is how can Paul command a believer
to be filled with the Spirit. The Holy Spirit
is going to fill us in this way because what?
I had the class in school. We
yield to the Holy Spirit. And then we have
all these things happen to us. Or that’s
how it’s supposed to go.
What happens is that if we don’t produce all these wonderful
results, then I guess it’s our fault for not being yielded enough, and Christians
start struggling to be more yielded, and a vicious cycle ensues.
My understanding of the passage is that Paul is telling
believers to fill their spirits in contrast to drunks who fill their
bodies. And the way we fill our spirits
it to speak to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, sing and make
melody in our heart to the Lord, give thanks always for all things, and be subject
to one another in the fear of Christ.
So what does all this have to do with wives and husbands.
If you have a good Bible translation, the word ‘submit’ in
verse 22 should be in italics. It should
be in italics, because it is not there in the original Greek. It was added by the translators, and it
shouldn’t have been.
Read the passage like this:
Ephesians
5:18–23 18 And do not get drunk with
wine, for that is reckless abandon [or, debauchery], but be filled in spirit,
19 speaking
to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making
melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 giving
thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God and
the Father; 21 being subject to one another in
the fear of Christ, 22 wives, to
your own husbands, as to the Lord, 23 because the
husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He
Himself being the Savior of the body.
Paul loves to have really
long sentences, held together by participles, shifting the focus constantly to
new subjects.
Wives being subject to their
husbands is a subset of Christians being subject to one another.
Maybe the best commentary on this is Philippians
2:2-4 2 make my joy
complete by being of the same mind, having the same love, united in spirit, thinking
the one thing, 3 nothing from selfishness or
empty thinking, but with humility regarding one another as more important than
yourselves; 4 not your own interests each one
looking out for, but also the interests of others.
[translation mine, very literal for a reason]
Paul’s
injunction to wives is not a separate, special, unique charge, but it is a
major part of the Christian life, but it is just more important in a marriage,
because, well, you’re living with this other person, and that relationship
itself is a picture of Christ Himself and the Church.
So,
wives, Paul, or God, is not asking more from you than he, He, asks of any other
believer. It’s just that it’s needed
more right now where you are than in your relationships with other people.
No comments:
Post a Comment